😔 Bad B*tches Get Sad Too - Embracing all the Feels
February 2024 Newsletter
Has sadness paid you a visit this month too?
As an eternal optimist and self-proclaimed president of the Positive Patty Club, I always get a little anxious when I find myself feeling a little less positive than usual. Optimism is my factory setting so when I don't have any sunshine juice in my tank, my body immediately goes on alert, nervously trying to figure out "yo, what TF is wrong with me?!"
In the past I would:
bury myself in my business or a new offer to avoid feeling "down"
intellectualize my healing to avoid my actual emotions
numb out with edibles
hit up toxic friends or lovers as a distraction because I didn't know how to self-sooth
zone out scrolling on social or bing watch the latest popular tv series
eat everything I could get my hands on in one sitting to avoid feeling at all cost
I know better now, so when I recently found myself feeling a sense of sadness I couldn't quite put my finger on, instead of resorting to my old programming I've just been riding the waves of what's lovingly rising to the surface without needing to immediately label, dissect, or fix a damn thing.
For years, I've been convincing myself that I don't experience sadness but after allowing myself to just sit with what is I'm slowly realizing that that's actually not true. The truth is, I've never allowed myself to feel sad OR my sadness was always masked by a much bigger emotion that took precedent like anger, disappointment, or grief. But feeling just plain 'ol sad - nope.
When you spend the majority of your life trying to distance yourself from your emotional needs so that you can equip yourself to survive the neglectful environment you grew up in, sadness is not a feeling you willingly embrace. My survival literally depended on putting my feelings on the back burner, care taking for the emotions of others over mine and pushing through. Optimism, creativity and my vivid imagination were my coping mechanisms and the tools I used to dream a new reality. Avoiding my difficult feelings was all I knew, until I woke up out the matrix, started healing and became more conscious.
Getting Comfortable with Discomfort
On some real ish, even the most optimistic and positive people experience moments of sadness, despair or feeling "blue" sometimes. As the Positive Patty club president, I know how challenging it can be when gloominess comes to visit even us sunny folks so I put together some tips to offer some perspective from one positive thinker to another on how to mindfully embrace sadness or difficult feelings when they wash over you. 🥺😢
My Latest Videos
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🎥 VLOG: Rooted Visionary Experience
What I Watched
American Fiction - An incredibly smart Drama/Comedy that highlights the well-intentioned white wokeness that still manages to reduce Black people to stereotypes and tokens. I really enjoyed the depth of these characters and how real they were as well as how they depicted grown ass people dating and adult relationships. And yes to the amazing use of comedy to make powerful points rooted in truth without holding back. Lastly, the cast was brilliant (Jeffrey Wright, Tracee Ellis Ross, Issa Rae, Sterling K. Brown, John Ortiz, Erika Alexander) and I hope they take home all the wins during award season. Must watch!
What I Read
Y'all know I'm forever adding some new books to my shelves. I need to get a library card at this point. Anyway, here's what I'm currently reading:
I've actually been sitting deeply with this book since last fall and encourage you to do the same. Read it slowly. Take your time. Bonus points if this book induces naps for you while reading it. That's literally the point and I love that Tricia intended for that to happen!
Personal Highlights:
I trust myself more than I trust capitalism.
A portal opens when we slow down. You can rest.
I don't want a seat at the table of the oppressor. I want a blanket and pillow down by the ocean. I want to rest.
Rest is anything that slows you down enough to connect with your body and mind.
When you are exhausted, you lack clarity and the ability to see deeply. Your intuition and imagination are stifled by a culture of overworking and disconnection.
We didn't arrive on earth to be a tool for a capitalist system. It is not our divine purpose. You were not born to center your entire existence on work and labor. You were born to heal, to grow, to be of service to yourself and your community, to practice, to experiment, to create, to have space, to dream and to connect.
Capitalism is new and our bodies are ancient. Grind culture has created a bunch of exhausted, disconnected and traumatized people moving through life, unable to tap into their true power. We need rest to connect back to ourselves and dream. We will rest!
What I'm Learning
I started my Foundational Herbal Apprenticeship this month and will be meeting up with my class this weekend to learn the basics of seeding, plant my own seedlings, and how to propagate Elderberries. I'll be sure to share some pics and what I'm learning in upcoming newsletters as I train to become a Community Herbalist.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to connect with me! Hope you enjoyed this months's newsletter. Feel free to reply if you have any questions or comments.
Blessings,
Ada